sassone
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Memorial Day is so much more than just a parade
For most of us, Memorial Day is a day away from work and, maybe, a parade. But Memorial Day also is my Uncle Vincent. I never knew Uncle Vincent. He was a pilot killed over Sicily in World War II. I don’t know much about …Read More
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Grin and bear Harlem Avenue construction
Hurry! Open a lot of businesses along Harlem Avenue, quick! Progressive thinking at village hall has it that the way to boost business in Oak Park is to slow traffic on the streets on which businesses are located. This theory is at the heart of …Read More
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Me and Vidal, separated by an ‘e’
No condolences necessary. Not to me, anyway. For years, people have been asking me if I am related to Vidal Sassoon. The hair-care magnate, as the Washington Post called him, died May 9 at age 84. Other than that his last name and my last …Read More
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Wishful thinking: People are generous
Like Dr. Frankenstein I conducted an experiment and wish I hadn’t. I dabbled in things best left unknown. Don’t get nervous. I didn’t try to create artificial life. My experiment involved measuring people’s generosity. I keep hearing how helping those in need should be left …
A concealed pitch for concealed weapons
I am against crime. How the Illinois Sheriffs’ Association knows this, I can’t say. Lucky guess. Anyway, because I am against crime and — as the letter the group sent me puts it — “ ... fed up with people who turn to crime as an easy …
Do you eat at your desk? You’re not alone
Employees left after layoffs have more work to do within the same work day. Something has to give. And that, apparently, is lunch.
Genius of an idea: No expiring library cards
You’ve got to hand it to the Oak Park Public Library. It seems to do just about everything right. It would take a small book to list all the programs, procedures and activities the library has for its patrons. And now the library is offering …
Speeding through work zones = hefty fines
They’re getting good at it. Various governments plundering our wallets while making it difficult for us to complain, that is. Speed cameras, specifically. If some government officials have their way, there will be speed cameras at every intersection, near every school, near every park. Streets …
What price traffic flow? Does speed really kill retail?
To whom do streets belong? To those who build and maintain them? To those who use them to get from one place to another? I’ve never thought much about this, have you? But I started thinking about it while reading about the proposal to give …
A Hall of Fame for regular people?
What if — just for one year — all the organizations in America stopped honoring well-known, successful people and instead honored regular people?
Can you build with canned food?
Do you like to build things? To shape raw material into a useful or artistic object? To create with your own hands? Me neither. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to be able to make things — good, useful, beautiful things. But I can’t. I …
The Grilled Cheese Invitational, who knew?
I was watching “The Price is Right’’ the other morning because ... Well, because I, um ... Shut up! I can watch what I want. So, like I said, I was watching “The Price is Right.’’ And one of the prizes was two tickets to …
Where have all the bad kids gone?
Where are the bad kids? I watch television, so I know that kids are self-absorbed, spoiled, foul-mouthed, disrespectful, anti-learning and indifferent to the welfare of others. So, I thought I would be knee-deep in bad kids during recent months. I’ve been spending some time at …
Politicians’ sure-fire fallback position: Attack the media
No politician ever lost votes by bashing the media. The sight of a politician cursing out some smart- alecky reporter is one most Americans savor. Media-mashing is a quick way for a politician to get on the news and to elicit a favorable response from the …
Beating yourself up for not voting?
Hit yourself. Go ahead, hit yourself. Again. There. Have you beat yourself up enough for not voting in the March 20 primary election? How do I know you didn’t vote? More than a lucky guess. The odds are in my favor. Most Oak Parkers didn’t …
SciFi reality: red light camera
Life is like ... What? Today, I’m feeling that life is like a science fiction story. One of those cautionary, twilight-zoney tales about how human beings come to depend more and more on machines as their servants until one day machines take over and human …
Movie Selector dilemma: What will my wife like?
Obviously, I am not doing this right. I rent movies from Netflix, as probably some of you do. So, every few days a disc arrives through the mail. I could rent more, or I could stream, but a movie every few days is just about …
Trailside treasures: fox, snakes and schoolkids
If you’re from around here, chances are your experiences at the Trailside Museum are a cherished chapter in your memory that occasionally you lovingly take out and dust off for a pleasant reverie. The Trailside Museum has been creating treasurable memories, not only for children …
Lighted crosswalks: Exactly what government should do
It’s not a particularly big deal. Unless walking is a problem for you, or you’re just not fast enough to outrun a hurtling SUV. For these folks, the lighted crosswalks on Roosevelt Road are kind of a big deal. The Roosevelt Road intersections at Lombard, …
Misdirectional tales of a block party wannabe
They always look to me so hometown, so neighborly, so Ward and June Cleaverish: Block parties. I see them from afar as I drive around them during block party season in Oak Park. Driving around them is my only experience of block parties. I am …
